The Seed

16 Mar

0706

Just blew into LA after back-to-back trips to Puerto Rico and Panama. I’ve only been in LA for five months but already it feels like home. I love stepping outside the Arrivals Terminal at LAX and getting that first taste of LA air – simultaneously balmy and crisp. Very strange that LA feels more like home than Sussex County, New Jersey ever did. What does that tell me? That I feel more at home living alone in a sublet in Koreatown than I do in my house on a lake, surrounded by my family and pets.

Ann and I have only talked twice on the phone in 30 days, No e-mails to speak of – only the barest dispatches covering economics and child-rearing. Her last e-mail was a humorous account of a bat terrorizing her and Devon in the middle of the night. The disturbing part was realizing it was an e-mail sent out to her list of contacts, without the slightest attempt to personalize it for me.

There are some seeds that spring into life after years and years of waiting for water. Then there are other seeds that transmute into hard bits of mineral that no amount of water and sunlight could cause to germinate.

My marriage is somewhere in-between the two.

(2006)

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