Manhattan Clam Chowder

21 Apr

I’ve noticed a change in myself. I’m reluctant to talk about screenwriting, as though I no longer have the right to bring it up. It only takes a few reactions like, “You’ve been talking about that for years” to really shut me up. Whenever screenwriting is mentioned, Ann gets a pained look on her face.

Others politely listen without making a response.

In my paranoid state, I imagine them saying things like, “It’s sad that Mark still thinks he’s going to sell a screenplay. How long has it been – ten years?”

I can understand their reactions – I have very little validation from Hollywood. It’s odd feeling excitement and hope, and then catching myself, tamping it down – knowing that I’ll face either irritation or pity if I express my dreams and aspirations.

(2005)

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