Hand-Knit Doo Rag

21 Mar

What will I do if I fail? Sometimes I look into the future and see myself living in a small concrete hut in Mexico, somewhere near the sea. I get by on my Social Security check, reading from a tall stack of books, walking down to the tienda in the evening to buy beer and mezcal. I don’t see my family with me – I’m alone. When I think of living like this, I’m never sad. But I also see it as a manifestation of complete failure as a father, husband and friend.

Persistence is key. Talent is critical, but without persistence the odds are against ever cracking the barrier to become a full time screenwriter. In this tenth year, I feel George and I are inches away from success. These final inches might as well be a continent’s breadth if we don’t prevail and keep pushing, and in George’s words: “Judo our way out of this.”

Part of me will always miss not having committed to screenwriting earlier and realizing that this is what I really want to do. I’ll never have the experience of heading  to L.A. in my early twenties, either enrolling in film school or taking a job in the industry. Living on Top Ramen, surrounded by people who eat, live and breathe filmmaking. Just like Detroit, Hollywood’s a company town – it would have been exciting to stake a claim there.

(2004)

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One Response to “Hand-Knit Doo Rag”

  1. Writing Jobs March 22, 2012 at 3:02 am #

    Great post thanks. I really enjoyed it very much.

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