Snakehead Bites

16 Mar

Months ago we submitted our Snakehead Cat script to Promark. They loved it…

Now we’ve found out from Agnes by e-mail that Sci-Fi Channel is doing a Snakehead Attacks! movie. According to her, Promark had either shown our Snakehead script to Sci-Fi, or was getting ready to. I’ve been telling Agnes for months that we had to step up the pace – that someone was going to beat us to market on the Chinese walking catfish story. I’ll probably never know if Sci-Fi saw our script and passed it on to one of their writers, or if the idea was in the zeitgeist (let alone numerous newspapers).

The only good news is that Promark still loves our script. An exec named Gert is asking if Michael and I are willing to rewrite it with a different predator. Agnes countered that she knew we wouldn’t touch a rewrite without getting paid – which is true. In order to keep the rewrite minimal, we have to come up with an aquatic predator that can surprisingly come up on land. Agnes mentioned some research she has on killer frogs.

My first reaction is a memory of Ray Milland in one of the worst movies ever made: Frogs. The last scene (as I remember it) is unintentionally funny, with Milland screaming his head off in a wheelchair as hundreds of tiny frogs hop against him, presumably in the act of killing him. When I saw it in a Boston movie theater 30 years ago I still remember thinking, “What are they going to do? Gum him to death?”

If we go with the frog angle – the frogs have to be really evil looking, with warts, teeth, ugly protuberances – and maybe some kind of poison sac. I’ll look over Agnes’s research and see if it makes any sense.

This is another illustration of how important it is for Michael and me to get an agent. An agent would never have accepted Promark’s glacial decision-making on Snakehead.

Eight months of waiting for a commitment – waiting until our fucking script was blown out of the water.

(2003)

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